About six years ago, when I was about to enter my last year at university, over a casual lunch, someone in his thirties told me that: one of the things that I felt glad for doing in my early twenties is that: I worked really hard and spent really smart so that I could buy me some time in my mid-twenties to re-think about and re-design my life. It pays off.

This line of thinking relates to a beautiful line I read recently: “A man chooses his calling before he is fitted to exercise his faculty of choice.”

And so I graduated. Worked hard (well, sort of :D). Systematically saved a bit (thanks to my patient Mom -.-). And finally afford me some time off from the world to determine my true calling, this time being more fitted to exercise my faculty of choice.

And it feels good.

***

Thanks to the Finnish society and its philosophy to offer free education to everyone regardless of origins, I am not only able to afford some explorative time in this beautiful country but also earn a (few) degree(s), which is sort of practically useful. The welfare state also enables me, with my limited budget, to live a decent life here. I feel grateful every time I pay 2.5 eur for a student lunch meal that includes: bread & butter, milk & water, salad & sometimes fruits, meat & rice/pasta.

Many people have asked me why I end up in Finland and I often joke that I give different answers every time. Here is one of the versions that I rarely tell:

After 5 years in Singapore, I originally went back to Vietnam to work for a few years because I planned to apply for government-related scholarships for further studies. However, something struck me when I was researching about Fulbright/Chevening scholarship that altered my thinking and changed my plan. I was in one of the forums full of people who had planned to apply for these scholarships for a very long time, most of them did their bachelor degree at local universities. I read their comments, saw through their passion and strongly felt that: I do not want to compete with these people. With my savings, I can afford a place somewhere else.

For some time, I have thought that competition is not always good; whether competition is necessary to push for innovation and betterment if everyone is intrinsically motivated to do their best without anyone looking; and that perhaps competition is rooted in human vices, not virtues.

So I resigned from that sort of competition. And Finland beautifully and perfectly fit me well to execute an alternative route.

It still gives me a good laugh today when I think about that sort of “heroic” moment when I decided that it is more interesting to know what is enough and let other people take their fair share.

And it feels good.

Well, funnily enough, half a year living in Finland also teaches me a thing or two about knowing your fair share. Living on a my own budget means that I have to constantly shop for discounted deals for my grocery. I love salmon and sometimes they have really good salmon deals but everyone can only buy two packages. That style of restrained consumption so that others can enjoy their shares too really intriques me. Simple rule. But fair.

***

Over the years, one of the common interview questions that perplexes me a lot is: what’s your plan in the next 5 years? I really don’t know how to answer it and have been afraid to answer that I don’t know. Up until recently when I had the courage to do so: to say that I can convince you with a very feasible plan (well, a few years ago, I couldn’t even do that) but honestly, I don’t know. Look, I know this much about me, that I enjoy doing this and that, that I can excel at this and that but the rest, I don’t know. It depends on the signals I pick up today or tomorrow and how I connect them. I also tell them that I feel very fortunate that I can afford this sort of insecurity now in my mid-twenties because I know that I do not always have that luxury to live this insecurity throughout my life. 

It feels like: this is the worst of time because I don’t know what is going to happen next. But it is also the best of time because anything can happen next. 

And it feels good.